Confessions of a Social Justice Communist

By Don Rollins

Communism: 1. a system of social organization based on the holding of all property in common. 2. political doctrine based on Marxism, seeking the creation of a classless society; 3. system of social organization in which all economic and social activity is controlled by a totalitarian state. (Webster’s Modern Office Dictionary, 1999)

Nazism: the body of political and economic doctrines held and put into effect by the Nazis from 1933-1945, including the totalitarian principle of government, predominance of especially Germanic groups assumed to be racially superior, and supremacy of the fuehrer. (Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary, 2010)

Social Justice: … action in accordance with the requirements of some law. Whether these laws are grounded in human consensus or societal norms, they are supposed to ensure that all members of a society receive fair treatment … (Sociology Guide: A Students Guide to Sociology, 2010)

Dear Glenn Beck:

Forgive the lengthy quotes and all, but after hearing you give that radio treatise last week about how “social justice” is nothing more than communism and Nazism by another name, I just had to consult the experts to make sure the acid flashbacks weren’t at me again. Once I got that cleared up, I went right to denial: “That man couldn’t be dumber if he cut off his head!” I told myself. How could he say such a thing!

But, much as I’ve been taught to despise you, I’ve always harbored the secret thought that maybe you’re a pretty bright cat, actually looking out for the nation’s good. That sliver of doubt started me thinking that, horror of horrors; maybe I’m one of those dirty communist-Nazis you were talking about. Have I been wrong all these years? Good Lord, how did this happen?

I think it all began when my eighth-grade-educated dad came home from the Big War an FDR Democrat. He gave us all that “I’m not a smart man, but I know that poor and hungry ain’t no way to go through life” stuff. I shoulda’ known then that the man was an anarchist. Same with my mom, an office worker at an elementary school; she was always sneaking money to the poor kids. Socialist, was what she was.

Church was part of the problem, too. They told me that Jesus gave a damn about suffering people. Some line about the poor inheriting the earth and a widow’s penny meaning more than a rich man’s dollar. Yeah, right.

Once on the road of tears that leads straight to Bleeding Heart City, I was one lost pilgrim, Mr. Beck. I voted, first for Carter, then that evildoer, Mondale. I was writing “social justice” songs, marching in “social justice” protests and donating to “social justice” organizations. And, as though those sins weren’t scarlet enough, I entered seminary and got myself ordained in one of those vile “social justice” denominations you talked about just last week. I drank the elixir of liberalism; worse yet, I passed it along.

As you can see, I’m standin’ in the need of prayer, sir. I could go on and on, but you’re a busy standard bearer for the American Way with better things to do than hear the confession of a pathetic “social justice” preacher. You’ve opened my eyes to the truth, and I’ll find my way from here. But, Mr. Beck, please know that your war against communist Nazi religion has just gained another foot soldier for truth. This Sunday, I’ll tell my church that no longer will we be helping the family down the street stretch their food stamps; no more kerosene for the guy camping out in the park; and no more crazy stuff like putting a manic-phase bipolar guy on a bus back to his frantic mama. Enough with the “social justice” already. I’ve seen the light. And you’re my beacon.

Yours in the cause,

Rev. Don Rollins

P.S. I’m just goofin’ on you, Glenn. When I’m done here, I’m going to cut a check to PETA, take a shift at the food pantry, attend a Social Justice Committee meeting at the church and say another prayer for my 2012 presidential dream ticket: Hillary and Al Sharpton.

Peace.

Rev. Don Rollins is a Unitarian Universalist minister in Spartanburg, S.C. Email donlrollins@comcast.net.

From The Progressive Populist, April 15, 2010