Memo to Trump’s Spiritual Adviser: You’re Fired


The straw that broke the camel’s back (or so I thought) came when one of the Donald’s goofiest supporters tried to scale Trump Tower because he wanted to have a talk with the GOP’s goofiest candidate. Perhaps he wanted to tell Trump to quit acting like a court jester and start acting like he deserves to be next in line for the world’s toughest job. And no, that wasn’t RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, just some idiot named Steve.

Yet, the camel’s back wasn’t sufficiently damaged, because the following day we got introduced to Paula White, senior pastor of the New Destiny Church in Apopka, Fla., Trump’s spiritual advisor. She is the same pastor, who this past Easter, offered her congregation an opportunity to cheat death by purchasing a resurrection seed sent by God for a mere $1,144. The one caveat White offered is if the seed doesn’t bring someone back to life, it’s solely due to “user error.” She also believes the liberal media act like Satan, and she has surely convinced Trump to believe the same.

She’s wrong, though. The liberal media, as well as their conservative brethren, aren’t the Devil, only the ringmasters of this circus, which has been on display for more than a year.

The media set the stage for what the audience should be watching, hearing and believing. CNN is still the Clinton News Network. NBC is Nobody But Clinton. FOX is really ABC (Anybody But Clinton). You watch them to find out what to think, depending on how much hatred you may have for the two major candidates that particular day. The stupid things Trump professes or the lies Clinton keeps telling; the ringmaster introduces them with great grandiosity.

In one ring stands the magician. She is known as the Amazing Clintoni. She is the face of a far reaching syndicate of lackeys continually aiding and abetting the magician’s sleight of hand. Got trouble with your private server and confidential emails? Poof! Got unethical pay for play standards at the Clinton Foundation? Poof! Got an ineffective record as Secretary of State? Poof! We want to believe what is being done is above board, and it seems quite so until she, herself, disappears in a puff of smoke never to explain fully how she can short circuit so often without burning down the house.

After Clintoni goes bye-bye, our attention is directed to a VW sputtering in from stage right. It’s the clown car with Trumpy, our favorite buffoon. He’s there to respond to audience questions all, of which, are answered with a deafening blare from his bicycle horn. Is Obama really a secret Muslim, who along with Hillary co-founded ISIS ? Honk! Do you really want someone to assassinate your opponent? Honk! How will you make America great again? Honk!

It’s been nearly 18 long months, and the audience wants this circus to end tomorrow, if possible. It wants the trains loaded, the performers to go home, and the animals including the elephants, donkeys and the broken down camel to hit the road. And once it does, Pastor White will likely be carrying a huge broom sweeping up the mess left behind. She’ll also be muttering to herself about the pink slip she was given and what a fool she was to think she could actually unseat Trumpy as the biggest clown in the world.

Eric Blumberg is a former radio news reporter and talk show host who now teaches communications and writing at Western Iowa Tech Community College in Sioux City, Iowa. See

From The Progressive Populist, September 15, 2016

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