Something There is That Doesn’t Love Trump’s Wall


(with apologies to Robert Frost)

El Paso, Texas, Feb. 1, 2017 nnHere in the dusty border town of El Paso, Texas, reporters have assembled from all over the world to hear it for themselves: The Union of Progressive Walls refuses to stand with President Trump.

Union steward, Mr. B. Rick Wall, puts it like this: “We refuse to stand with President Trump because he has defamed the reputation of walls everywhere. He’s made us a scourge in people’s eyes, turned us into objects of derision. We’ve no quarrel with the Mexican people, we’ve no quarrel with the American people. We’re conscientious objectors in this manufactured war of mud slinging.

“Brick Lives Matter,” he continues. “We’re going balls to the wall on this important issue. We’ve polled our constituents — silica, alumina, lime, iron oxide and magnesia — and they refuse to be pressed into service for President Trump. Without those constituents, there are no bricks and without bricks, there is no wall.”

“I’d like to see him try,” says Mr. C. Ment Wall. “This may be an Open Carry state, but those bags are too heavy for that damn pansy-ass. I can’t see him taking that silver spoon out of his mouth and putting it to work. He’s just not that kind of American. And besides, he discriminates—black bricks over there, white ones over here. Never the twain shall meet, is his motto. And woe to the brick who isn’t quite perfect. Many times I’ve seen Trump laugh maniacally as he tosses one into the reject pile. The man has no heart.”

The question then arises: Will President Trump call out the National Guard to pit soldier against brick and brick against soldier?

Stay tuned.

Rosie Sorenson of Richmond, Calif., is humor columnist for the Foolish Times and a frequent contributor to the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop website ( Email

From The Progressive Populist, September 15, 2016

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