Ron De Sanitization, a.k.a. Ron De Satan, is determined to scrub away the black, the brown, the other. When the wannabe dictator’s attack on The Mouse (Disney) didn’t slake his thirst for autocratic power, he cast his eye upon crayons.
Yes, crayons!!
De Satan is gunning for the Crayola company for continuing to sell crayons in black, brown, yellow and blue (for Ukraine) and all the colors of the rainbow. So you might wonder, what crayons are left? White and peach.
“But what happened to “flesh?” he cried. “Flesh” was considered the color of Caucasians for decades although many a young person laughed when they marked their arm with the flesh crayon and snickered.
De Sanitization was not yet born in 1962 when the Crayola company changed the name of “flesh” to ‘”peach,” although it retained the same formula. Go figure. He does remember seeing his nieces and nephews from time to time playing with their crayons, including flesh.
At any rate, now that his thin-skinned inner rageaholic has been awakened, DeSatan wants to put an end to this “woke” system of colors. “Just another goddamned attempt by those goddamned Peoples of Color to slur us White Folk.”
“Flesh is flesh, a peach is a peach,” he said, “and under my watch never the twain shall meet. I want Crayola to fix this mess, or I will shut them down, kiddies or no kiddies!
“And, while we’re at it, I’d like to add that, with Marjorie Taylor Green setting me straight, there are no such things as “black people.” No, they’re all radical, Commie white people in Black face attempting to overturn the God-given order of white people running everything, everywhere, all the time.
“Nikki Haley also turned my head around when she said that ‘there is no racism in the United States.’ And she should know, being a brown girl herself.
“By killing this whole Crayola debacle we are also saving our children from LGBTQ BS propaganda. Why, the very idea that God gave us more than two genders is destroying our democracy. That’s just what the woke lib crowd wants—to blur all the lines, tell us lies and ruin everything.
“I’m here to tell you that as President, I will defend our God-determined democracy, down to my last flesh-colored breath.”
Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com
From The Progressive Populist, April 15, 2023
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