What is the difference between box jellyfish and House Republicans? Both are spineless and brainless. Unlike the GOP, however, jellyfish have the ability to learn from their mistakes.
Box jellyfish are known to thrive in the Caribbean mangrove forests. When the water is clear, there is a sharp distinction visible between the roots and the translucent water around them so that when the marble-sized jellies swim near a root, they perform a swift about-face to avoid a collision.
However, when the water is murky, they sometimes bump into these same roots. It doesn’t take more than a few run-ins, however, before the jellies learn to avoid those places and swim elsewhere.
Biologists at the University of Copenhagen set up an experiment in their lab to test the jellies’ ability to learn. They lined buckets of water with images produced to mimic the stark contrast between the light and dark of the mangrove roots. When the jellies approached the dark images they instinctively performed a quick turnaround.
But when the researchers replaced these linings with ones where the difference between light and dark patches was less distinct, the jellies ran into them. It took only a few crashes before they learned to avoid them.
According to the recent New York Times article, “After a handful of collisions … they seemed to have made a connection between the murky stripes ahead of them and the sensation of collision.”
After watching hours of TV in the Copenhagen laboratory, especially the crazy fights between Kevin McCarthy and the House Republicans, the jellies have been heard to snicker in unison, “Look at those dumb creatures—doing the same stupid things over and over and over again. We learned long ago that when you come upon a blockage such as a Matt Gaetz, you retreat and try something else. But McCarthy? Banging his head on the same damn blockade? That’s just dumb.
“We have evolved, why haven’t they?”
Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her column is satire and, like Fox “News,” cannot be believed as fact. You can contact Rosie at: RosieSorenson29@ yahoo.com
From The Progressive Populist, November 1, 2023
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