Your Independent Journal from the Heartland
It was a momentous occasion – the birth of a new political party. No biggie that the birth was breech as its avatar came out ass backward, because this conception could correct the course of history.
As usual with conceptions, it began with a big dickwad. Here in Madison Square Garden (named aptly after the author of the Constitution) before the adoring gaze of delirious devotees, the Golden Bull emerged from the loins of Lorna Looney (instead of him entering there like usual). He was covered not in the usual baby gunk, but in the majestic makeup befitting the magic moment of a fully formed false prophet in the pantheon of demon deities.
Sired by Satan himself, the virile vile vindicator glowed as if imbued with the aura of a thousand rouge compacts. And his all-natural golden tresses were gilty as charged.
The convention’s rapture was captured in “Trump Oaf Of The Wil,” the dynamic documentary by Syleni Stallonstahl, to rescue his rocky film career. The film’s title isn’t a typo. The Wil Party stands for “Whatever I Like,” a theme with a thruline wherever Wil partiers gather for greatness.
“Whatever I Like” doubles as both a name and an attitude. The party appeals to aggrieved Americans who are fed up with the feds and the nanny state. Dear Leader fought the frauds and flummoxed the fakers with a mesmerizing messianic message for his fans to resist repression of their personal freedom by following the formula “Whatever I Like.”
Examples are abundant, as the film reveals. If you like to let children play and not be forced to get vaccines, cancel the vax. Whatever I like. If you like immigrants not taking great jobs from real Americans, like picking fruit in the fields, send them in shackles to El Salvador. Whatever I like. If you like stopping women from killing babies in their bellies, put them in prison. Whatever I like.
But Dear Leader didn’t stop there. He wisely expanded and expounded the Wil Party’s message to also mean “Whoever I Loathe.” That’s because he knows that success for yourself isn’t complete until your victims are vanquished. They must be Shifftyed to Comey Island where they be Biden their time until a Newsom one may free them.
But mostly, the awart-winning film celebrates this new party’s path of patriotism for all who want America for Americans. The libtards who try to tear down our great nation will never win because they hate God and hate America. If only those snowflakes could know the wonders of getting whatever they like.
“Trump Oaf Of The Wil” follows in the footsteps of a familiar film that inspired a whole generation in another nation by promising greatness, too. They knew they could have strength thru joy because their Dear Leader told them so in forceful terms. He excited them so much that they got an arm-boner every time they saw their leader or hailed him in reverence. Forceful forays led to tremendous triumphs where they took the world by sturm and drang. But then their faith faltered and a few setbacks reversed their successes. Woe and behold, the world visited vengeance on them. Foreign folks had a flurry of furor at the Fuhrer. Yet some survivors among the Fuhrer’s faithful stuck by their story even as they rummaged in the rubble for remnants of their lives.
No such fatal failure could befall the Wil Party because it has absolute absolution from the Almighty. God is mighty merciful to His true believers, you know. As the movie moves the movement to bliss out in fervent feelings for the President-For-Life, nothing can undermine their under-mind, that subconscious section where cults are cultivated. Let the fake news forage for phony files purporting that the president is a pedophile pervert who raped pubescent females, because that is where we blow the roofie off of such slander. He’s faced Stormy skies before and has put his money where was his mouth was.
The film is persuasive in praising the party of plutocracy. Nothing can deter the dreams of the delirious. Democracy is but a fleeting fancy in facing a dictator who demands fealty forever. Who even wants a messy old democracy with all its squabbles? Join the party that gives you whatever you want, and you won’t have to worry about silly civil duties like voting.
Watching the movie, you feel the freedom and you just know that the Wil Party will have a thousand-year reich, …er, I mean reign. It’s absitively certain. What could go wrong, with God on its side?
Editor’s Note: We could find no evidence of a director named Syleni Stallonstahl or a film titled “Trump Oaf Of The Wil,” but Frank Lingo, based in Lawrence, Kansas, occasionally wades into satire. He is author of the novel “Earth Vote.” Email: lingofrank@gmail.com. See his website: Greenbeat.world
